My brother is the only innocent child I pictured, the only one that never grew up.

I felt bad about my life. I had only one brother but to the eyes of my closest aunts and uncles he is just another boy in the family. But it was different for me. When they heard the news that my mother will be having a baby girl, smile and straight away cheers can be heard. Grace upon grace was cited. That baby girl will be the first little princess in the family.

That was my life. I had never felt the specialty of the surrounding, my surrounding, where all the eyes gave smiles at me yet I never realize that some may smirk at my brother. It was the upbringing, the surrounding that made him wrong. But it was the surrounding that made me right. Every decisions in his live was try and error methods. Why don't we do this, why don't we do that. Lets see if become people if we do this. For me, every decision in my live done by the adults are spot on correct. They can have hours of debate just to take me to the right school, right education and right learning. So I am a person now but he, he still struggling to know what he wants the best for himself.

I still remember when I was a child. A vague memory it is but I know its there in my mind that we were never treated equally. If only I knew what is it, I could have defend my brother and say 'Leave him alone and treat him the same way you did to me'. If only it happen like that. They gave me books to read, loads of them and I learnt things pretty well. Or whenever I play in the house, they treat me every time like an apple to their eyes. A jewel that should be treated well. My brother wasn't very lucky, maybe he got jealous and disturbed me sometimes but when every time such thing happened they chased him out and said 'You go out with your friends. Don't disturb your little sister'.

Seeing that when I was a child might make me think that 'alas I'm in peace. I can do whatever I want now'. But if I have been given another chance, just another chance to turn things around, I will do so. I would have played games with him, read books with him and do silly things with him. I will try to change him from the very beginning. At least I'm trying. But unfortunately the words of brother and sister are only two words with a wide gap in between. 

See, adult can be really selfish sometimes. You can never be too protective of someone without getting another person feeling the hurt. Yet again, here I am still breathing, watching my brother feel every discrimination the adults gave to him. When I need something they gave it to me anything, anything at all. Anything I wishes but for him everything becomes difficult. Sometimes, I get blind, seeing everything in fogginess and I followed the track that the adults left behind and that is by being mean to him but I realize his the only one I have. And because of me everything in his world turned upside down. What I always say 'Monsters create monsters' and these adults create me to be mean. But I got a choice, a choice to support my brother and be the one thousand motivation for him. I am the only one he has. 

But I regret it, I realized it only after a few years of my adult life. Why can't I see it before that his life is also mine. Why do I have to be so shallow minded by thinking that whatever he did wronged is because of his own decision. Because of the adults, the discrimination, he had only his friends during his childhood time. The one that feel his feelings, hear his thoughts, the one that he approached to consult decisions with. So I am not surprised at all that he will spending most of his life with his friends. And vision was only about his friends. His future only for his friends. So where his future leads to?

But one thing I am grateful of is that, my brother had never thought that I am a misfortune in his life. He always cared about me. I pitied him because he is not really visible in the family, but at least in my eyes he meant a lot more than anyone. And if I've been given one single wish. I wish that my brother lives well and go as far as he want it to be. Its not worth it to stay here and ended up being treated the same way again. But then again this wish is just a miracle that can never happened. Whats left is the dark side of our life.

Inspired by true stories and events by ZazaZahidah.